It's been almost 21 years i lived in here. well, not childish as a girl anymore and not mature as women yet. at this age i know more about the struggles and how to climb, my fate is fight with reality. i often thinking critically and logically but its not necessary with my mind, yeah its not run simultaneously sometimes.
desperation brings me to struggling with the condition that i must face, no matter how hard it is, nobody knows but me. i crossed the line and arrived at the place i called obsession. i was greedy to climb it, until i already stand at the point that i (think) can't fade away. Climb that rock is about prestige for me, but its about punishment as well. ( you can find another idiom in movie like : "This is my gift. It is my curse" <-- spiderman). i can stand to say that because while i climb that rock, i raised everybody's expectations. when i want to give up, i can't go back!
i made my world out of the box, leave the comfort zone. now, there is something leads me to touch the comfort zone, i love it! i enjoy every second i spent with it till i enter the box again and find another happiness there. somebody wake me up and i realize i cant leave it. how crap it is? not that bad, i believe this just a gravel sharp as the barrier of those rock. what i want to do now is pass the boundaries.
i don't want to judge the conditions, i know i make it, but as human i just need some space to spoil my self ( you can call it : egoistic) like everybody do.
okay! back to reality and look up to your schedule fidy! oh, yeah, i have an exam tomorrow, "organizational behavior" subject. well, time to go fellas! enjoy your Sunday night!
No comments:
Post a Comment